Thursday, February 26, 2009

Things more annoying than Craig Hummer

As a public service to viewers of the Versus Network, we provide a list of things that are MORE annoying than listening to Craig Hummer commentate on a bike race alongside Phil Ligget and Paul Sherwen:

Having an English Sparrow drop his coconut, land on your shoulder and peck at your ears while you are incapacitated and unable to make it stop.

Excitedly buying a new porkpie hat to wear to a Henry Rollins spoken-word concert, pulling it directly from the hat box to put on your head and discovering that it was filled with acid that pours down your face.

Getting ready to leave the house in the morning, searching for your glasses, putting them on and being horrified to find as they pierce your eyeballs that someone replaced the lenses with sharp pointy things.

Having a blonde himbo mangle the English language, constantly interrupt more intelligent and more eloquent people and begin screeching in a higher and higher pitch to generate false excitement about virtually nothing at all. Oh, sorry, that is EXACTLY as annoying as Craig Hummer.

From Misc Bike Pics
Photo from Swimming World Magazine


  1. There's no way an English sparrow could carry a coconut. An African sparrow, maybe.

  2. How fast does the African sparrow fly?

  3. I don't know how much more of that picture I can take. Please. Make it stop!

  4. Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?

  5. If you belong to "Fuzzy Britches" health club you might wan't to shower AFTER he's done. Thank you to Alberto "The Hitman" for the proof you could give a damn about your team by tearing the yellow from Lance's grasp by refusing to PUT THE TEAM FIRST!