Saturday, March 6, 2010

Dr. Spalm - Round 2

Dr. Spalm - I have two follow-up questions from your last answer. First, you said the you removed the hyphens from Never-was-again's name for two reason, but you only gave one.

Second, the question was more of "how do I get benefit from drafting a smaller rider", rather than a "how do I make a smaller rider sorry for not offering more draft".

Still Curious

Dear Still Curious - While I am not a native English speaker and some of your ways are deeply foreign to me, I must note that I do have more than a basic grasp of your language. As such, I can clearly and definitely recognize that you, Still Curious, are an idiot. How, you ask? You have said you have two follow-up questions and yet if you look at your "questions", you will find they are statements and not questions at all. The lack of question marks should have been a tip-off for you.

Nonetheless, I understand that Family Guy and Sarah Palin came to an agreement that we personages of show business are supposed to be kind to idiots and not fling around the "R" word without sufficient justification. As such, I will pretend that your statements are questions and answer them as such.

First, you have stated that I said there two reasons for something and I only gave one. What are you, the pedagogical police? No, we have already established that you are a curious idiot and not simply pointing out the syntactical or structural error in my paragraph construction. Besides, why do you need to know? As it turns out, my grandmother met an early demise when she choked on a hyphen. There, are you happy now? And thank you for dredging up the memory of my poor Nana's death.

Second, you have suggested that I didn't answer the question asked of me by Never-was-again. I mean Never was again. I fail to understand your point. Clearly the Volkswagen gets more benefit from following the Semi than the other way around. This is basic physics and, without the benefit of a quantum physic-style extra dimension, this set of the laws of physics appear to be immutable. Therefore it is not possible for the Semi to get protection from the wind behind a Volkswagen and it is not possible for the meat wagon in question to benefit from his cricket-sized companion. Thus the only logical conclusion is that Mr. Cricket must be punished. Just as Semi's run the Volkswagens off the road. Next time you are on a car trip, keep an eye out for the rusted remnants of Volkswagens in ditches and ravines. I think it will prove my point.

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