Blog General News

First of all, I personally want to thank Quicksilver for his insightful commentary on his trip to Germany. Actually, I don't. You see, I had this idea that he could tell us a bit about bike culture in the Fatherland and we ignorant Americans could learn a bit of the Euro outlook from one of our own. Instead we got these snarky mini-blogs. Did I suggest a Twitter blog each day? No, I did not. When I take my trip to Pasco next week, you can be damn sure I won't spend my time trying to enlighten Quicksilver on the nuances of their bike culture either.

On a light note, I wanted to share a bit about our blog. Somewhere I saw that the terms of my "agreement" with Google Analytics, who tracks visitor information, includes a prohibition on sharing some of the information. I didn't see that part, but only because the agreement is 17,000 words long and I was only on that page long enough to find the correct button to click to get off of it. If someone could let me know the salient points, I would appreciate it. Until, I am going with the ignorance is bliss approach.

The idea behind the blog was to talk about cycling generally, our rides and some of our thoughts, as well as tell people a bit about LBS, Two Wheel Transit. To my great delight, this little bloggy blog has now been read nearly 10,000 times in 48 countries or territories across the world. Not bad for a blog that started in late January. For a while we had no readers in Russia, so giant land mass was not colored in on our map, but thankfully we have now had two visitors from the Motherland. I would still like to get Greenland filled in (we've got Iceland, thank you), so if you know someone in Greenland, tell them to fire up the whale-blubber generator and point their favorite browser to us.

The next most interesting thing about the blog are the search words that people put into Google (and others) and then find a link that they use to get to our site. The lead in this category is clearly the Fizik Antares review done by Rider 1. Apparently this is a hot topic, because a lot of people have come by to take a look. The D2 Shoe review is also way up the list. We are also a source, for no good reason, on the Gonzaga Cycling Team. Apparently we should feature some of their riders, because people are coming to the site looking for them.

As we move down the list, Craig Hummer makes a number of appearances, as in "Craig Hummer", "Craig Hummer Twitter", "Craig Hummer Sports Broadcaster" and "Craig Hummer's Blog". Two things, first, I am glad that anyone looking for CH information will stop by here and find out what a knob he is, and second, no one has done a search for "Craig Hummer fur-lined speedo" and stopped by. Maybe someday.

Kirsten Gum has also generated a number of visits, but they are a bit different in nature. Here is the list of terms used in connection with Kirsten Gum: "bust size of", "cover of tri", "blogspot", "drunk driving", "in a bathing suit", "measurements", "what is bust size" and the most disturbing, "panties". It makes me feel sorry for female celebrities. Speaking of female "celebrities", something else that makes me feel bad, someone was actually looking for pictures of Rasika Mathur nude. Why? Seriously, is that a good idea?

Here are few more oddities and I want to emphasize these are actual words used to search for things that resulted in people visiting our site (along with my own comments):

• can't separate felted sock (a logical way to find our blog, right?);
  
• funny team names for four wheeling;
  
• how to ride in the wind go faster;
  
• lance armstrong private jet (TTW, your source for pictures of lance's toys!);
  
• ambassador fishing wheel (a what?);
  
• rider stand up 2 wheel;
  
• shaved cycling (let's not think about this one);
  
• so you think football players are tough chasing a ball around for 90 minutes? well we chase a yellow jersey up and down mountains for 3 weeks (proof that not everyone understands the idea of "googling"; it's different than editorializing);
  
• something that means two completely different things;
  
• urban dictionary nether regions (thank goodness Kirsten Gum had nothing to do with this one);
  
• what those huge motorized wheels are you can ride on the lake are called (yeah, what are those called?);
• wheel of math - and companion - math of cycling;
• 2 pig wheel pulling a wheel;
• 3 wheel stand up bike (the opposite of a recumbent I guess);
• adjusting fork rake (is this a good idea?);
• bike to support overweight rider (hey, thanks!);
• paraphrase of mother, I cannot find my wheel (nor can he find his senses);
• ride and be damned (right there with you brother);
• spray tan münchen (huh?); and,
  
• what are the rides in Italy with the two wheels and you have to stand up (this is why head trauma victims should be kept away from google).
  

I can only guess at what some of those things are, but mostly it worries me. However you got here, though, thanks for stopping in. Particularly if you are from Greenland.

Versus Cycling Commentary, Part Two

Adrian Karsten

From Misc Bike Pics

Adrian Karsten hosted the Tour de France coverage on ESPN, so he may not belong on this list, but he was the guy who sat with Phil and Paul for the earliest regular coverage. He was a football player turned ESPN color commentator. He also committed suicide just before he was scheduled to go to prison for tax evasion. This brings to mind a couple of things. First, my grandmother has a saying that was applicable here. Keep in mind that my grandmother was of the always-wears-pearls-and-pumps set, but she once said of someone, "He was a son-of-a-bitch while he was alive, and he still a son-of-a-bitch now that he's dead." So, the fact that Karsten offed himself shouldn't change my opinion of him, but on the other hand, I don't feel like making fun of him anymore.

Al Trautwig

This will surprise some of you, but I try to not ALWAYS operate from a position of ignorance. So, instead of finding a picture of Al and making fun of the fact he was a spray-tan fan way before it was cool, instead I will quote this from the Al Trautwig Wikipedia page:

Trautwig was from 2004 through 2007 a cycling commentator for the Versus cable network's coverage of the Tour de France. Despite his years of experience as a broadcaster, he was sometimes criticized by cycling fans, for his occasionally uninformed commentary, and his tendency to compare the Tour to various mainstream sports he covers.

Huh. I didn't know we criticized him for his "occasionally uniformed commentary;" I thought we made fun of him for his inability to learn anything. He seemed so genuine in his lack of understanding form day to day and from year to year. Somehow he thought his role was to bring the "everyman" perspective to the broadcast and that to do this, it was important to never, ever be tainted by knowledge of the sport. And no, we didn't like his comparisons to mainstream sports because, for the most part, we don't like those sports which is why we are watching cycling on television. Do they do hockey comparisons during soccer? Cage fighting analogies during football? Sports analogies during NASCAR? No, because these things aren't comparable.

Oh yeah, here is the picture of Al. You know you wanted it.

From Misc Bike Pics

Craig Hummer

What can I say about Craig Hummer that can't be perfectly summed up by this:

From Misc Bike Pics

Oh, I guess I found a few words to say about Craig Hummer, like these:

Thoughts on the Tour of California

Dr. Spalm Discusses Craig Hummer

Things More Annoying Than Craig Hummer

Rasika Mathur

You know, I'm sure that there are people who found Ms. Mathur funny. They are wrong. She was a useless addition to the Tour of California. Like REM, I had lost my religion, but I just found it again. I am praying fervently that Rasika Mathur is not part of the Tour de France coverage team. Amen.

Frankie Andreau

From Misc Bike Pics

I think Frankie is probably a good guy. I feel bad about the situation he got into with Lance, his wife and various lawsuits. I also feel bad that I don't like him more than I do as a commentary person. It's not that he is bad, because I don't think he is. It's just that he isn't that good. A guy who knows this much about cycling should be marvelous. He is closer to the days in the saddle than Paul or Bob, but he has a hard time translating it into his comments. I think most of the time he is trying too hard. I suppose it's a cut-throat business, since some female Indian comic is waiting in the wings to take your place, but Frankie needs to relax. I also suppose it's hard to relax when the GREATEST CYCLING STORY OF ALL TIME LANCE ARMSTRONG is gunning for you and anyone who hires you is subject to scrutiny from GCSOATLA, but Frankie after a couple of beers is probably the commentator I want to hear.

Kirsten Gum

From Misc Bike Pics

Oh Kirsten Gum, we hardly knew you. Oh sure, we knew about your days doing NASCAR commentary which were ended by an inadvisable DUI in the early morning hours before you were due trackside, but did we really get a chance to know the real you? Maybe we did, but when the internets were going crazy calling for your head and drumming you off of OLN, we had NO IDEA what a load of buffoons were going to come along to replace you. Would anyone in their right mind really trade Kirsten Gum in for Al Trautwig?

There is a saying that you can't really appreciate what you had until it's gone, and with Kirsten, it's true. Yeah, she needed to keep learning and she needed to keep quiet and let the Phil and Paul show go, but in hindsight, she was SO MUCH BETTER than most of those that came afterward that I have been missing her more and more. And just to be clear, it's not all about the boob job. I would be glad to have her back regardless of the size of her chest. But that's just the kind of guy I am.

So I guess Kirsten is off doing some other shows, at least one featuring deep sea treasure hunting, but if I have to pick between Craig Hummer in his speedo or Kirsten Gum on the beach, it's no contest.

From Misc Bike Pics

Things more annoying than Rasika Mathur

As a public service to viewers of the Versus Network, we provide a list of things that are MORE annoying than Rasika Mathur doing interviews during a bike race:

Nothing. Absolutely Nothing.

Sorry, I really thought and thought about this, but I've got nothing.

From Misc Bike Pics

Photo from Rediff News