Thursday, May 27, 2010

Part 1 - Hey Bill! - Part 2 - Shop Ride

Bill - When you bring your ElliptiGO 8S, I am going to bring my H-Zontal to the Morning Ride.
Rider Three

Shop Ride

After you get over the shock or horror of the horizontal face-down bike (lift your face from the mirrors whenever you want!), you should check your calendars and mark down in red pen, "Thursday, June 3, 5.30 pm - Team Two Wheel Shop Ride". If your calendar is too small for all of that, you can just go with TTW SHOP RIDE, or even TTW RIDE, or SHOP RIDE, or . . . well, you get the idea.

The thing is, for our first ride in April, we had twice the number of people we had show up for the May ride. We would love to have a good group for a few reasons. First, Geoff and Bruce will probably buy us pizza again from David's and my buddy at David's wants to sell lots of pizza that night. Second, it is easier for me to hang at the back of the group and draft a lot, but (and here is the tricky part) I pretend to be watching after the group, which works better when there are more people. The fewer there are, the more I have to keep up and occasionally get in front. Third, it really is more fun when there are more of us.

Now, there was rampant speculation about why the numbers dropped from the first ride to the second ride. Sure, there was support for the idea that the weather the day of, and the day before, was crap, so it looked like it would rain on us the whole way, but I think there were other reasons. For instance, I know that Rider Two had a whole lot of garlic for lunch that day. But I most strongly suspect that it had something to do with the United Nations. I think that we will be easier to enslave with a One World Government if we are less physically active and can't ride away from the Black Helicopters at high speeds on our bikes, so they probably were using some kind of mind control device or brain implant to make us think that we shouldn't ride our bikes together for the Shop Ride. But here is what I do. I usually line my helmet with tin foil (don't get fooled and use aluminum foil) to stop the transmissions from getting to me. I also sleep in a pyramid that has three types of Icelandic cheese at each corner and a discarded satellite receiver that I put a mirror into to collect the rays and send them away. I have to confess that I'm not sure how the cheese stops the brain control, but I always have a handy snack during the night when I get hungry, so I've got that going for me.

Anyway, the point is: United Nations = evil. Or something. And also, come ride your bikes with us next Thursday, June 3, from Two Wheel Transit. 20 mile ride, pizza afterwards = not evil at all.

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