Uncle Larry

Even in this age of information, we humans still like to play a game similar to "telephone", the nursery school game in which one person whispers a word in the ear of the person next to him or her and then the word is whispered from ear to ear around a circle. It rarely, if ever, gets back to the person who started it without the word changing, sometimes multiple times.

In the case of an accident, the same thing happens and it happened again at Frozen Flatlands. Let me be clear, I don't think that anyone was making things up or trying to not be completely truthful, but it is interesting to hear the various stories.

Here is what I heard straddling my bike before the Sunday race: Uncle Larry was involved in a bike crash with three riders which was caused by Larry hitting a dog. Larry was badly injured and is going to need reconstructive surgery on one of his hands.

Here is what I heard a few hours later: Uncle Larry hit a dog while he was in a group of riders and was involved in a bad crash which resulted in serious injury to one of his hands and a broken arm that was going to require surgery.

Here is what I heard after mixing a few tequilas and post-race dehydration: Uncle Larry was taken in a space-ship for human testing and using manipulation of the time/space continuium the aliens put Larry back into the race pack approximately one second behind himself causing him to crash into himself at which point the aliens, again using manipulation of the time/space continuium, place a dog at the scene of the crash causing everyone to assume that the dog caused the problem instead of Larry running into the mistimed version of himself.

Here is what I heard when I e-mailed Uncle Larry and asked him what happened: I was approaching the 3k to-go sign at the intersection of Mullinex Road and Dover Road when a space alien . . .

Let me start again. Here is my paraphrasing of Larry's e-mail: I was approaching the 3k to-go sign at the intersection of Mullinex Road and Dover Road. I was overtaking another rider in my class (50+) at 35 mph. I had a big tailwind and had just looked at my cyclocomputer when a dog came out of cover on the left and crossed the road in an attempt to bite a rider. I had about one second between seeing the dog and running into it. The dog was taller than the front axle because if it had been lower the bike would have vaulted but instead I did a superman flight off the bike (Larry knows these things since he is an engineer). Another rider in his group, a teammate, then ran into and over Larry.

The result was road rash from Larry's left knee up to his left elbow, including his armpit (I'll bet Larry shaved his legs, but I doubt any male cyclist thought to shave his armpits). His hands took the first big hit resulting in one dislocated and fractured finger and missing skin the size of a 50-cent coin on the palm/heel of each hand. He also has an assortment of bruising, sore ribs and various aches and pain. Not surprising at all.

Being a cyclist, Larry also reported on the condition of his bike. This is the sort of thing that non-cyclists don't understand at all, but readers here will understand. Larry is a bit of a gear-nut, with a constant rotation of bikes. In this case he was riding his Trek Madone 6.9 and you will be glad to hear that the initial survey is that the frame and fork are fine. I don't know what wheels Larry was riding, but the front wheel also appears to be fine. There were some scraps and dings on the bike and shifters, but surprisingly little serious damage considering the speed and impact.

Lastly, before you ask, I don't know the status of the dog. I know that Larry was not charitably disposed towards the beast, who appeared intent on putting his chompers into a bit of cyclist flesh just before the impact, and I know that I don't feel charitable towards the owner of this dog, but I don't have any other information on the poorly timed Kujo.

So, thankfully, Larry will rise to fight another day, although it sounds like it will be in the warmer weather and unfortunately losing some of his hard won fitness that he was carrying into the spring. The good news is that he won't be facing surgery and the aliens got everything they need so they won't be back soon.